Saturday, June 14, 2014

To You (the man in a couple struggling with Infertility) on Father's Day

I want to speak to the men for a minute.  This blog is mostly geared towards women but today I want to speak to the men.

I know this weekend has to be hard on you.  Not because you are an emotional creature like your wife. You won't be crying at the Father's Day cards.  You probably won't even bat an eye during your church's Father's Day service.

But your wife will.

But this post isn't for her.  It's for you.  The quiet supporter.  The one who holds her hand when her friend announces her second pregnancy.  The one who sees the sadness in her eyes when she opens the baby shower invitation.  The one who buys her chocolate when she gets her period again.

This post is for you.

I don't know what it's like to walk in your shoes. But I do know a few things:

  1. I know that you love your wife immensely.
  2. I know that you hate to see your wife hurting.
  3. I know that you hurt too.
  4. I know that you would love nothing more than to take all the pain away.
  5. I know that you really want your wife to understand that you love her no matter what.

I know all these things because my husband is one of you and I have watched him and felt him love me more deeply and sacrificially through my infertility.  

I've seen the look on my own husband's face when a friend announces her "surprise" pregnancy.

I've seen the concern when I told my husband I didn't feel like going to work or church.  He knew I wasn't sick.  He knew I was depressed and I just couldn't face the world.

I've felt him hold me when I cried so hard I couldn't breathe.

I've felt him reassure me that we would be alright.

And we are alright.

And so are you.  Because of you.

Your wife needs you.  Some days she needs you to listen.  Some days she needs you to fight for her. And some days she just needs a hug.  But she needs you.

Today, to the men in the couple struggling with infertility, I want to say Thank You.  Thank you for standing up for your wife.  And standing with your wife.  

We need you {sometimes more than we are willing to admit}.


And to my husband- Baby I love you to the moon and back and there is no way on this Earth that I would be me without you.  I have no clue where I would be.  This road has been hard but I wouldn't have wanted to travel it with anyone else.  Happy Father's Day!


  1. Kerry, this post is so good. I wanted to write a Father's Day post, but just couldn't figure out how to express my feelings. You captured it so well. Thank you.

  2. Thanks so much. I'm glad that it resonated with you.